i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
