so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
