I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
