Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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