You're so nebulous sometimes
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
