i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
