I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize