What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
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People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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