Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
