just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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