no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
