so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
why do cheetos always look like penises
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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