Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
