I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
