Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize