Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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