would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize