well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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