if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm going to jail i love you
literally had 100 drinks last night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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