Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
