I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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