Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
