Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
