Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
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Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
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I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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