Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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