The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
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It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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