Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
COCAINE IS GR8
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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