Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
