i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
