Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize