you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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