theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize