Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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