Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
