Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
