So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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