she was so not down for the gang bang
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
