Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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