Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
