I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
