No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
