Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
