He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
