i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
