Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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