hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
