I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
