i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
there is glitter all over my balls
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