He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
there was a trapeze. enough said
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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