you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
