i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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