i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
worst night to have a conscience
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Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
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i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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