yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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