Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize