he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
