you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize