You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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