actually, I'm a sock model
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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