Grow some girl-balls and come out already
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
