I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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