I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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