btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
