I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
