Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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