Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
