so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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